Truth alert; I may have been a bit of a jerk yesterday.
My current stress level is sitting at Too High. There is nothing major causing it, it is just a bunch of little things, that on their own are no big deal, but when piled all together, are driving me freaking insane.
I am not known for my great skills of de-stressing. I am much better known for my skills of blowing everything out of the freaking proportion ocean! ( I also enjoy making up sayings). When shit starts building, I do not work it out right away, instead I take the approach of a volcano and blow my top right off, and like Popmpeii, I take no survivors.
This weekend was witness to that, specifically Sunday afternoon.
I volacno’d and Wayne and the kids were covered in my bad mood lava. There was yelling. There was swearing. There was huffing and puffing and door slamming. I was a real mummy winner, not. (Can we please bring back the yelling of NOT after sentences, it was my favourite early 90’s slang). I even started in to the “this isn’t how I thought life would be,” woes. It was hardcore.
I am NOT proud of this. This isn’t cool at all. I had to pull my adult pants on and calm the F down. I had to end the day apologising to my kids and husband for my shitty mummy behaviour.
They all forgave me, my kids didn’t even know what I was talking about. Kids are ridiculously forgiving. It is part of what makes childhood so awe inspiring. I think Wayne forgave me. He is a better human than me sometimes, (not always, I have my awesome moments). Luckily he still loves me.
So today I woke up, early, and went for a beach walk, and had a coffee before the little kids were up, and showered and got dressed all before breakfast time, and tried to clear my freaking mind out. If not clear it, at least remind it how to act like a nice person. Because being nice is important
Kindness is important. Treating people, especially the ones you love the most, nicely even when you feel cloudy, is important. Being a giant dick sucks. It’s not nice to them and it’s not nice to you.
I broke the family anger rules yesterday. Shit.
Good bye jerk attitude. Welcome back kindness.
*Time for some yoga, tea and a 5 minute meditation.
How do you deal with stress? Any fellow volcanoes out there? Shall we join together and form the next Hawaii?
~Megan
(Image source: Pexels)
Learning to Lovell 